Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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