anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
