I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just blew my weed a kiss
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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