no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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