i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
