did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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