He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize