No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize