I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize