Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
