So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
These tits shall not be calmed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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