So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize