the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
