Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
