I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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