I heard we made out
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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