Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
