Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
