But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
