I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
