Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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