are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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