normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize