is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
