Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
