you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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