i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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