i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
