i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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