Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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