i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
