omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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