Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
