Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you had me at cake vodka
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
