Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
