so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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