I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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