I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
