can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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