How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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