Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
