Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
