Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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