my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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