You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
