I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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