I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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