We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize