I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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