okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
