I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
