Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think I won the penis lottery.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
