A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
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