I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
