Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
