Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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