took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
