LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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