What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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