If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize