I wish I could teleport
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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